Be Aware!

In honor of Long Covid Awareness week I share this post!

A while back I spent a week in the hospital visiting as a family member. Entering the threshold of the glass doors felt like home, the familiar people, the sounds of folks coming and going eased comfort. Having grown up and worked around hospitals they have always been a sense of familiarity. The familiar interactions with staff raised the question of how I am doing, or I have not seen you around Chaplain Amy. It is amazing how folks think I still work there. We are all ships passing in the night in healthcare. Oh, how I wish I could just return and do what I did prior to contracting covid in 2022 but that is not my reality. During the week of being around the hospital staff I felt joy but also felt the heaviness on the hearts of unresolved covid trauma. What we saw and experienced is a world of its own. Most of all I discovered the deep grief that lingers in my heart. I had an intense experience you could call PTSD . I was sitting in the chaplains office having a cup of coffee with a colleague. We were talking story as we say in Hawaii and I glanced over as she opened a drawer and I saw the pile of "my" scrubs staring back at me. A pair that I had worn in the battle of covid. The blue scrub top opened up the memory of quiet halls, the deaths, the miracles, the late nights, and the redesigning of spiritual care. While I felt like I could not move as I was reliving this as it was fresh as the day it happened, I noticed the well of tears. I was in shock as I have been writing about my experience, but this tangible sight of the blue scrub opened the deep raw emotions. I can only wonder how deep this memory is for others. I am grateful for this scrub experience in that it opened up the realness that lingers in my soul and body. I take a deep breath as I journey on and take the next turn in the labyrinth leading to a peaceful center. As we pass through the 5th anniversary of covid hitting our world it is vital to hold those who sacrificed their lives for those suffering. Be aware of the invisible scars that live in the body and souls of so many. Mahalo to all who continue to work on the frontline and carry on day to day with covid and long covid patients.